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PSS Introduces Lie Detecting Call Center Software
DUBLIN, Calif.  April 1, 2009 -- Every day an estimated 3.6 million people try to take advantage of the dedicated and overworked customer service agents who cheerfully answer phone calls for major corporations around the world.  These unscrupulous callers routinely deceive and manipulate call center agents into giving them an excellent customer experience they did not deserve.  Today PSS, experts in contact center infrastructure and applications, announced an innovative new offering that addresses this rampant customer service problem. SMART Assured Self Service™ call center software is a new system that can detect when callers lie and will automatically intervene on behalf of the agent. 

The system is based on proprietary research and statistical analysis compiled by PSS across literally hundreds of live customer calls.  It is capable of detecting callers' lies in real time, and draws upon sophisticated rule-based artificial intelligence to inject itself firmly into the conversation before an agent is actually deceived.  Any caller who thought they might pull a fast one will be in for a big surprise. 


SMART Assured Self Service Systemtm
Can Detect When Callers Lie and Automatically Intervene
"The technology behind our new offering is incredible.  It takes the agent-caller interaction to a completely new level of authenticity and transparency," said (through a marketing interpreter) Frank Pravda, an intern hired by PSS to assist with accounting and random IT projects. "A SMART Assured Self Service solution can provide a rapid ROI by lowering call center operating costs, protecting existing investments, enhancing agent productivity, and boosting customer sat scores by reducing sample size." 

Though still officially in beta release, SMART Assured Self Service solutions from PSS have been deployed at a number of customer sites since the fall of 2008, just in time for the generally elevated levels of caller desperation triggered by the economic meltdown.

Customer testimonials in support of SMART Assured Self Service:

"How does this help the average consumer?  Not all callers tell bold-faced lies, but we all pay the price.    SMARTASS saves us a huge wad of cash.  We can pay ourselves healthy bonuses and still have enough left over to pass on a small fraction of those savings straight to you."
                -Former Wall Street executive who now runs a small but important contact center

"Before we deployed SMARTASS our agents were completely burnt out handling customer complaints.  This system has really cut down on the number of calls our agents have to process.  We have very few repeat callers now, and we find that almost no one voluntarily bails out of our IVR self-service applications anymore." 
                -Vice President of Customer Service and Non Value Added Activities for a financially healthy auto company

"The system worked great except for one instance where it backfired and detected one of our agent's lies. Without warning it bellowed to the customer 'YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.'  The customer was taken aback at first, but seemed to appreciate our candor after everyone calmed down. "
                -Executive Vice President of Customer Experience for a major defense contractor

"Yeah, SMARTASS can get a little rough on some people, but it's not like great service is some kind of inalienable right.  Just like at airport security, we all have to endure a little shake-down once in awhile to keep everyone honest for the greater good."
                -Head of Customer Service and Employee Screening for an up and coming hedge fund management company

"One former customer was making a warranty claim for a product he obviously broke himself.  In the past our call center agents would have allowed the claim, but our SMARTASS software worked perfectly.  It detected the lie immediately and continually interrupted the caller so he couldn't embellish his story any further. SMARTASS even cross-referenced our CRM system and found hundreds of other customers who broke the product in exactly the same way.  Needless to say we won't be doing business with those lying weasels again now that SMARTASS found the root cause of our warranty problems."
                -Manager of Quality Assurance, Customer Service, and Six-Sigma Black Belt for a medical supply company

*For more details about this headline, read the article below.
About PSS
OK, maybe we don't really have incredibly valuable and useful SMART Assured Self Service technology.  But we could if we wanted to.  We at PSS really are experts in contact center infrastructure and applications.  IVR, CTI, VoiceXML, PBX, VoIP... that sort of stuff. If you happen to care about such things, take a moment to check out our old web site.  We're working feverishly to update it for our loyal fans, so this is your last chance to see the "before" version.

P.S.  We can probably save you a bundle on IVR, CTI, or PBX support.  Our 24x7x365 Service is truly legendary.

Sometimes you just gotta step back and laugh a little...
Happy April Fool's Day from PSS!